When Do You Stop Loving Someone?

Thursday, December 04, 2014

I am having a bad day today. I'm human, I get sad, and I cry sometimes. But instead of ignoring it, I decided to embrace it, and it's led me to release my creative writing and thinking onto this post. Being sad, I kept thinking about love. It's no surprise that when I first started this blog, a lot of my posts were the result of love. I have been in love, or so I would like to believe I was. I felt something for someone that I never felt toward anyone else. It was as if my soul (if there are souls) had found itself in another person. We were two beings, completely different, yet so similar. Absolutely happy and content with how we felt about each other, thinking we'd feel this way forever.

But life doesn't always work out the way you think it will.

While I was thinking about this, I started asking myself, when do you stop loving someone? Is it the moment you start to love someone else, shifting all that love onto a different person, or is it before? Is it even possible to stop loving? How could someone mean so much to you, and then not? Does it happen instantly, or is it something that needs to be worked on in order to progress?

All these thoughts were running through my mind that I started to reflect on myself, and past in regards to love. The last person that I loved, I was completely and utterly happy. What I felt was beautiful. It was the only time in my life where it actually felt perfect, even when nothing was. It was the happiest I had been with anyone. But that love resulted in me being very sad for a long long time. Was love worth it? Was feeling depressed worth the bliss?

My answer would be no. I would rather not have been in love, it wouldn't be worth all the pain I felt because of it. But I can't change what's already happened.

Now I question myself. Was I still in love? Did I want to be? Can I change my mind? And if I wasn't, then did I ever love in the first place?

I have no answers. Sometimes, there are things that can never be truly answered, only thought of.

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  1. I've always believed in the saying that we are the sum of our experiences. Everything we go through, everything we've been through, has led us to this very exact point in our life. Who we are today comprises of everything we have been and gone through. The knowledge and experience we have gained through past experiences make us into fuller people. It's all a part of our growth. And I've always had faith in that. "Everything happens for a reason." We don't have to know the reason today, but one day we will.

    Although I've never been in love, I think you start to stop loving someone when you can look back on your time with them without any grudges. You can look back at that point in your life civilly, and you've made peace with it. In a sense, you've truly "moved on," in the sense that you can feel grateful and a changed, fuller person from it. Even if it was good or bad for you, you've taken something from it. And I think when you can find that realization in yourself, you can say you've "stopped loving someone."

    Sorry if this was a bit confusing. Your post just got me thinking, haha. Keep writing, Brenda! :)


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