Am I Sexy?Friday, November 07, 2014
This year, one of my main goals was to become more confident in myself. I have been insecure my whole life. I never felt that I was pretty and wondered why any man would want to be with me. I would always complain to people saying, "I wish I was pretty" or "Why can't I look like her." I realized this was a really negative aspect of my life and that I needed to change.
As of now, I am a lot more confident. I've really come to accept myself and not care about what other people think of me. I do feel pretty, and am happy with myself. I don't feel threatened by other girls. Yea there are other girls who will be prettier than me, but who cares. I'm me and that's all I can be. I've become very comfortable with who I am as a person. It took a while and hard work to get where I am now. It was worth it. But, I still want to grow.
It wasn't until I watched Anna Akana's video that I asked myself, "Am I sexy?"
The answer is no. Like Anna, I have never felt sexy about myself. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, but not with being sexy. Trying to be sexy is hard and weird. You don't realize it until you actually try. I'm an awkward person. Me trying to be sexy just makes things more awkward.
I want to change this. As of now, I am going to work on being sexy. This is something that I need to be actively working towards to achieve. I'm not doing this so that guys think I'm sexy. Anna's right, it is completely subjective. Also, I don't care about other peoples opinions. I'm doing this for myself. Doing this will completely take me out of my comfort zone. I've come pretty far on my journey to feeling more confident in myself. So, why should I stop now?