It's been a while since the last time I wrote on here.

The last thing I wrote was Day 25 - Identify Your Stress Triggers as a part of my 30 Day Minimalism Challenge. On day 25 I wrote about how I was stressed about my job situation. I had been feeling that way since I moved back home because I was unhappy with where I was at. It seemed that everyone I knew had a job after college, but I was still here applying for so many jobs that I never heard back from. I was getting frustrated, confused, and sad with the situation.

"It's really disheartening knowing that you apply and don't receive anything."

I kept that post short because as I was writing I had a breakdown. The only thing I could concentrate on was the fact that I was still unemployed. At the time I was applying for journalism related jobs because that was what I majored in. It wasn't really want I wanted to do, but I was getting frustrated and kept applying because I wanted a job. But during my breakdown I felt I wasn't a good writer. I felt stupid even applying for those type of jobs. I got so frustrated that right then and there I decided that I was going to stop writing. I stopped pursuing journalism and I quit this blog. I had a little Rory Gilmore moment. That's the reason I didn't finish my challenge and haven't written anything since then. I needed all my time and concentration to figure out what I was going to do next.

After that things started to look up. In the past three months I decided to pursue public relations as a career because I didn't have to start my skills and experience from scratch. I felt I could be in many different work environments with public relations. I ended up getting a part time job doing Marketing and Public Relations for a company that caters to renewable energy solutions.

Everything was good up until a couple weeks ago where I started to dislike my job. Although I liked what I was doing, I didn't like the work environment. I realized that marketing is something I want to pursue, but I wasn't happy with the company. I was starting to feel how I felt a couple months ago: frustrated. I've been applying for new jobs, but they haven't been what I'm looking for.

During my free time when I'm not applying for jobs, there has been a voice telling me to start writing again. I don't know what direction my life is going in, but I know every step and decision I make will ultimately lead me to what I'm suppose to do with my life. I just have to take each day one at a time and work my hardest in the moment I am right now. This low point is just the start of my next great adventure.

As of today my hiatus is over. I am going to start blogging again and not just post sad topics like I did when I first started this blog. I want to share happy and personal moments of my life. I hope in some way with every entry I post they can inspire someone somewhere.

I originally had this switched with Day 19: Go For A Walk Practice Mindfulness, but that didn't happen. Yesterday I planned on going to the beach and have a relaxing walk, but I applied for a job and the application took a little longer than expected. I ended up not having time for the walk so I decided to switch it again Day 26s challenge.

As I went about my day yesterday, I made mental notes of my stress levels. I applied for a job yesterday, and I was stressed out because I found out the job application was due that day. I've been trying really hard to get a job. I want my cover letter to be really good and make a good impression, but because of that I set high standards for myself and work really hard on the application that I get stressed out. I just really want a job and it's really disheartening knowing that you apply and don't receive anything.

I'm going to end it here because this is the only thing right now that contributes to my stress. The sad thing is it won't stop because I can't. I can't stop looking for a job.

I've procrastinated on this for too long. This was suppose to be written on Thursday, but I'm doing it now because it's better late than never. Here are my list of people and things that I am grateful for, and should remind myself everyday because I tend to forget to cherish what I have.

1.  My mother. The woman who is the most selfless when it comes to her family and has made me the person I am today.
2. My best friend Himi. He puts up with me a lot, more than he has to, but he's always there for me when I need him. I'm really happy he's still in my life. 
3. My cat Moty. This little kitty came into my life and has completely stolen my heart. She has given me so much joy and happiness. 
4. The fact that I live in a home where I have shelter and food in a time where I can't financially support myself. 
5. That I went to UC Irvine. At this school I met my best friends, got to travel the world, earned two Bachelors degrees, and learned so much knowledge that I don't think I could have learned anywhere else. 
6. That I am a U.S. citizen who can legally work at any job I want. 
7. My friends: Gaby, Car, and Rachel who tell me what I need to hear and the thought that we will always be there to encourage and be happy for each other. 
8. Yoga. This might sound strange, but yoga has changed my life. Before yoga I was insecure and would constantly compare myself to others, it wasn't healthy for me. Now that it's been a year, I am confident in myself and it's the best feeling in the world. 

I thought today would be impossible. I used to not watch TV, but since I got Netflix and started watching Gilmore Girls I can't seem to think of anything else. I need to know what will happen to Rory and Dean. Somehow, I was able to spend the whole day without watching TV. I didn't think I could do it, but I did to an extent.

Today was actually quite productive. I woke up and applied to two jobs, which I feel really good about. The more applications I send in, the more chances I have of getting hired. After that I had to occupy myself with something else. Since I couldn't watch Gilmore Girls, I thought of how I could spend my day. The challenge was to read instead, so I did. After I finished watching the anime Nana, I decided I would pick up where the show ended and read the manga. I haven't been able to get far into it because of GG, but I since this challenge forced me to read I ended up getting far in the manga. I actually really like it. I was hooked and all I wanted to do was read and find out was going to happen.

At the end of the day I kind of cheated and watched TV for an hour. Everyday at 8:00 p.m., me and my family watch a Turkish soap opera we have been hooked on for months. The series is ending in three days and I couldn't keep the challenge. It didn't seem right to skip a day. To me, it seemed fine because I didn't spend the whole day watching TV. It was only a small hour of my day where I wanted to do something enjoyable with my family. I think my decision is justifiable.

I'm not going to lie, I'm glad the day is over because that means I can watch Gilmore Girls again.

Yesterday night was quite easy for me. I feel that my bedtime routine is already relaxing. For the past couple of days I've been lighting a candle next to me while I turn off the lights in my room with only the lamp on my desk on. Something about a dark room with minimal light relaxes me. I used to be crazy for candles a couple years ago, but then I stopped burning and buying them altogether. It wasn't until I moved back in with my parents that I found a lot of candles in my room. Instead of having them collect dust, I thought it would be better if I burned them. Looking at the flame while inhaling the sweet aroma instantly relaxes me.

I ended up spending the night watching a couple of episodes of Gilmore Girls. I just started watching the show two days ago and am completely hooked. It's going to take me a long time to finish the series, but I'm determined to do so.

I'm really enjoying my candles and TV show; I think I will continue to do this as long as I can. Once I start working, this seems like the perfect day to relax after a long day.

I am a writer. You would think that I would write in my journal every day, but I don't. I actually just found my journal two weeks ago. Aside from this challenge, I don't remember the last time I wrote in a notebook. I believe it was when I was still in school, which was three months ago. It was quite a strange feeling to do it again.

When I started writing, I decided to do stream of consciousness and just let my thoughts come to life on paper. It turns out I think a lot and my thoughts jump from one thing to the next. What surprised me was that I wrote down the things that have had me worried these past couple of days. I never realized so much worried me until I wrote it all down. They weren't life changing things, but to me it was what kept me from making big decisions. I tend to worry and think about how my decisions will affect those around me. I want to do life changing things, but it's really scary to get out of your comfort zone.

After writing I realized I don't really like to journal. I have messy hand writing where I can't even read it. I think faster than my fingers can write on paper. I prefer to type my thoughts down, but journaling allows me to really write what I'm afraid of because no one will ever read it. It's nice to know no one can judge me for my thoughts. It's a calm feeling.